My Preachy Disclaimer

I realize I sound like a preachy bitch when it comes to food; especially when it concerns children. Jesse and I are first time parents and we're convinced our child will rule the universe one day. We are health nuts and it encourages people while it annoys the hell out of others.

I grew up eating healthy with my mother who taught aerobics and my father who ran every morning at 4:30am. When I was in high school playing 20 hours of tennis everyday, I went anorexic and my diet consisted of a candy bar before practice (can you say STUPID BLOND?). When I attended college, I gained the "freshman 15" because I discovered pizza assisted in late night studies. I ate decent up until I got pregnant at age 26. While I was knocked up, I had cravings that made the world stop. Give the pregnant woman her cheeseburgers and hot dogs and no one gets hurt.

I weighed over 200 pounds the day I delivered Maximus. I'm sure there are other women who are 6 feet and carry 200 pounds well. I have an extra small bone structure and I'm not built to carry that weight. I know, I know, you're probably like, WHATEVER BITCH, YOU WEREN'T 120 POUNDS ANYMORE...WAA WAA. I'll just be honest- I expected to deliver an 80 pound kid and I was not happy with extra weight. Now, I'm not saying I had a "weight problem", but I needed to feel great in my own body.

We simply ate healthy from that point. No, we didn't eat carrot sticks and lettuce because we weren't "dieting" (God, I hate that word. It's so restrictive). We researched and learned about the food we ate and how it works with our bodies. We learned WHY stuff will kill you and how other things make you feel great! We cut out white flour, sugar and processed foods. I can proudly say that my arthritis is under control (without medication) and I feel great. I never crave food that we don't eat. Once Maximus was of age to eat "human food", we made the point to feed him in a way that will give him the best building blocks for health. And we realize that feeding him in such a way is an abundance and not the least bit restrictive like so many people think. Kids don't NEED soda and chicken nuggets on a weekly basis. What did children eat before large companies started making chemically "enhanced" beverages? What happened to water? Let me correct myself here: Maximus used to eat vegetarian chicken nuggets because I believed Morningstar Farms was the answer, but he no longer does because they are also shit. Real, baked chicken people! It's not hard.

Let me jump off my soapbox for a second. I am NOT saying that people who don't feed their kids the way we feed Maximus are bad or are bad parents. I am not judging (and I know so many of you think I am). Jesse and I are totally obsessive and that's the road we chose for our son as long as we have the control over what goes into his mouth. Hey, I know that eventually he'll go to school and shove candy, chips and soda down his gobb, and that I can't control. I'm not that dense and I KNOW THIS. Look at my childhood again: I grew up healthy, went haywire, then returned. Shit happens like that. One more thing I want people to realize about us: we know that people cannot afford to eat healthy (although eating most everything from scratch that takes eons of time to make is actually cheaper, but who has that time?) and we know that some people simply don't give a flying you-know-what about being healthy. Jesse's friend recently told him his family eats Fruity Pebbles and they're fine. Cool for that family. And I'm serious. Each family is different.

Jesse freaks out about diabetes and the health care system. If you ever want to be lectured about why America is the way it is, just mention high fructose corn syrup to the man.

Anyway, I'm always on Facebook. I will continue yapping away about healthy eating. I know I sound like such a prick about it, but in addition to the hate emails I get from other parents I do receive messages of encouragement. The encouragement helps me realize I'm not a total lunatic and the hate messages keep me grounded. Basically, I'm apologizing for offending anyone with my blunt statements about food. I will continue with that in mind.

I don't want to sound all mighty about this. I'm just trying to explain myself to anyone who actually spends the time reading this. And anyone who cares. Have a grape day!

Vitamin Water

Vitamin Water is NOT good for you. I know a bunch of people who drink this and sugar water beverages that are advertised as Green Tea. "Hydrate Responsibly"? Seriously?! I can't believe how misinformed people are and they don't read about what they put in their body. It's full of sugar and it contains NO FRUIT JUICE. One bottle contains 33 grams of sugar and a 12 ounce serving of regular Coke that contains 30 grams. Why the hell is this even called WATER?!

It's advertised with sexy fit models and athletes and comes across as it being "essential". Bull shit. They just add chemically synthesized vitamins and sugar to water. What's wrong with plain old water? I don't know about you, but I don't want to drink my calories. Sadly, the people who drink this stuff are wannabes. People who want to be healthy but make minimal effort, jump on the Vitamin Water and organic bandwagon and care about what people only see them eating. Like, how sleek is it to walk around with a canteen of water and an apple? Take a minute to read a label!

Food Inc.

Sorry about the formatting...I somehow managed to cut off part of the screen. The point gets across anyway.

Sugar Coated Kids

A direct quote from School Nutrition Professionals: "With calcium and eight other essential nutrients, flavored milk offers the same great nutrient-rich package as white milk and can help improve overall diets."

Are you effing kidding me?! I bet these jackasses believe that high fructose corn syrup is "just fine in moderation" too. And when can sugar IMPROVE an overall diet?